Everyone comes to therapy in a different place emotionally, some for their first time and some with many years of experience in therapy or having done other mental health work. Yet I noticed that I tend to mention the same 5 things to my clients in the early stages of therapy so I’m sharing them here because anyone can benefit from these tips whether you’re planning to attend therapy anytime soon or not!

1. The Brain’s Stress Response

   Some people use “upstairs and downstairs brain”, some call it your “thinking and doing brains”. and all of those work. I really like using the hand to demonstrate it, giving an easy visual at any time! Check out this short video here for a simple explanation and this link from Harvard Medical School for a more in-depth explanation on what goes on in our brains and how we can change our response to stress. Parenting Tip: Use a puppet to make it fun as you teach this to your kids.

2. Feelings wheel or chart

   How cliché, right? The research is out there though, we can’t address what we can’t name so early in our work we are going to be increasing feelings vocabulary and awareness. I like the feelings charts that provide more generic or umbrella terms (mad, glad, sad) and then get more and more specific. Parenting tip: Print a colorful feelings chart (even laminate it or use a page protector) and pass it around the dinner table, let everyone point out a feeling they had that day.

3. Read Brené’ Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection”

   Any of Brené’s books is going to help us grow; I like to suggest this one because it’s shorter, filled with relatable stories and therefore more likely to be completed. This book gives guidance in terms of past hurts or wounds as well as addresses perfectionism and is a great foundation to the themes for the rest of her books! She includes Christian themes which have been helpful for those with similar beliefs. You know it’s going to be impactful when just reading the intro makes you cry.

4. Exploration of self-awareness, personality assessment tools

   The Enneagram is continuing to have a moment in culture, but self-awareness is so much more than one personality test. These tests help us understand the way we are wired, I’m not particularly partial to one or another, but recommend doing some sort of strengths and/or personality assessment.

5. The importance of the exhale

   Deep breathing has long been taught as a helpful tool to calm our bodies and minds when they are stressed or overwhelmed; the military calls it tactical breathing, some people call it square breathing, I’ve heard it described numerous ways. I simply express the value of the exhale. We usually inhale without thinking, but the exhale can be used intentionally to our advantage. Try 30 seconds of a few nice, long, slow exhales and notice how your body feels. Parenting tip: when you blow bubbles with your kids, point out how they are doing “bubble breaths” and have them notice their breathing. Then use that awareness when you’re not with bubbles and point out how bubble breaths can help us in other circumstances, too. When they’re presenting in front of the class, before every volleyball serve, baseball pitch, free throw, solo, or saying how they feel. Check out this blog (coming soon) for other parenting tips on helping kids navigate their emotions.